Are you a humanDoing or a humanBeing?

Human Being not Human Doing

If you are like so many people out there you have spent your entire life doing instead of being.

  • Doing is safe.
  • Doing is living your life remotely.
  • Doing is acting out the life you want without ever fully committing yourself to it.
  • Doing is living in fear at what people might think of you without ever pursuing your purpose-driven life as you were meant to.

Start Being your life.

  • Being means committing yourself fully and completely to your life’s purpose.
  • Being means actively living the person you have always dreamed of being.
  • Being means owning your life for better and for worse.
  • Being means living fully, awake and aware of who you are every minute and where you are vividly and in living color.
  • Being means living a fulfilling life every minute of every day.

Are you a humanDoing or are you a humanBeing?

You can repeat the mistakes of your past or you can learn from them to own your future.

Start right now, during your time alone. When there is no one else around.

I can help you discover your life’s purpose so you can begin to live your life as the person you have always wanted to BE.

You don’t have to DO this alone.

I can work with you so that you can begin to live a purpose-driven life and BE the person you were born to be.

I have learned how to transition from Doing to Being ten times over. Let me coach you to be the same.

This is my Life’s Purpose, it is what I am.

 

 

Is your character driving your choices or is your brain driving your life?

Victor Frankl once said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one: the ability to choose his attitude in any given circumstance, to choose his own way.”

Perhaps you never realized it but you are choosing your own way right now, in the middle of this pandemic. You are choosing to shelter in place. You are choosing to wear a mask when you go out. You are choosing to sacrifice your freedom for the betterment of everyone. I see this pandemic as a trial of epic proportions.

You have always had the freedom of choice, to choose your own way, each and every day. Yet only now is it so visible to everyone and most important to yourself.

This is nothing new. The Christian faith has always talked about free will, choosing between good and evil. Buddhism talks about choosing to follow the 8-fold path or to live a life of suffering; suffering through the guilt or shame or regret from your actions or at the end of your life when you realize it was a life left unfulfilled.

Funny as it may sound, this pandemic is your opportunity, the opportunity to discover what you naturally fall back on instead of actively choosing your way. And that is the real question at hand. Are letting your brain choose your way for you or are you allowing your character to speak through the little choices you make every day, often without even being aware of them?

If there is one thing to come from this pandemic, perhaps this is it. This is your awakening. To realize how you naturally default so that you can understand how you handle yourself, and if you are comfortable in that default.

Do you naturally run in fear to save yourself and your belongings? Do you dig your heels in to stand and fight to protect what is yours, or do you turn to help those around you? And, if so, how far does your empathy go?

Perhaps your empathy stops with your family, or with your friends. How far are you willing to reach out and help those around you? How close of a friend does someone have to be in order for you to help them? Are you comfortable with that distance and with what you see in yourself, with how far you’re willing to reach out your hand?

You have little choice in this situation. We are all coming face to face with our true nature. The decision to self-quarantine, the choice to social distance, the choice to wear a face mask. You are actively making choices; you are actively choosing how you make your way through this.

Your freedom to choose is no different than what is at the core of every religion. Free-will is something we have all been imbued with. Free will is at the core of my own belief system, to choose to follow your own simple truth or to fight against every cell in your body, jumping from distraction to distraction, wasting energy and living your life unfulfilled and suffering for it.

Are you wandering aimlessly, letting your brain drive your choices or are you living a life of purpose? One path leads to unhappiness, shame and regret. The other to satisfaction, balance and a life fulfilled.

It’s actually very simple. Every cell in your body is aligned to live by your own simple truth. No matter what you do, the further you get from your life’s purpose, your simple truth, the unhappier and less fulfilled you become.

If you wonder why you keep asking yourself “what am I missing? Why am I so unhappy?” that is the reason. Your heart, mind, and spirit keep moving forward to reconnect with your own simple truth, but your physical self, your brain is constantly  driving your body to run off in pursuit of whatever distraction it has decided will ease your suffering.

Whether that is in pursuit of greater security, in search of Love, or some form of recognition. Security, Love, and Recognition. Those are what all of your physical decisions are based on. And yes, your brain is part of your physical self. Unless you know what your Simple Truth is, what your life purpose is, you will continue to waste your time and energy running against what you innately know to be your life’s purpose.

After all is said and done, will you spend your time following the distractions of your life or will you embrace your life’s purpose and enjoy the fulfillment your journey offers?

One path allows you to find comfort in your discomfort with grace and dignity. The other will lead you to weep and cry out at the indignity of it all. Will you learn to find comfort as you check in on your emotions and your responses to them, or will you let your auto-responses manage your life? Will you eat your way through the discomfort of this pandemic, or go on an online shopping spree, knowing you will suffer the consequences when it’s all over? Or will you accept the madness spinning around you as you breathe and return to your core values to follow your life’s purpose?

Only you can decide this. Only you have a window into your inner-workings, your thoughts and your emotions. Your own Simple Truth.

The choice is yours, and yours alone to make.

I wish you wellness and safety. And I hope you will always be pleased with the person you truly are?

Your Simple Truth is all that really matters. Anything else is simply a distraction that will eventually lead to a life lived in pain and suffering.

A life unfulfilled. Be safe and I wish you well. I truly hope this helps. Jeff

Stop competing against yourself

Here’s a newsflash you may not want to hear, all of those challenges you won and all of those opponents you bested were not real. You were never really competing against anyone else you were really only competing against yourself.

Your urge to win and the competitive spirit you have always been so proud of were never about beating everyone else, your need to win was always about filling an empty space within yourself.

If you really want to find a place of calm then the real question you should ask is not how many people you have to beat until you are satisfied, but how big is the hole within you and where did it come from?

No matter how many trophies you line up you will still have that itch to step up to another challenge. The empty hole within you will still need to be filled, and after you are finished with the last opponent what will you do then?

No matter how many people you beat your need to win will still be there. Even the applause that once excited you will begin to ring like the empty clapping of people you don’t know because that is what it has always been, and that will never fill the empiness within you.

The only way to overcome your need to win is to recognize it for what it is, to come to terms with it, to accept it as a part of who you are, and then to work on filling the empty space with the love and empathy that you truly yearn for.

Whether your need comes from a parent who never gave you the attention you deserved or whether it stems from being the poor kid at school who you thought never measured up; those are the real issues you need to resolve if you are to findthe calm within you. Why do you have to take generic cialis every time? Winning is your stigma to carry around until you are ready to address the root issue that it stems from – and that my friend is far easier said than done. Growing up is easy, maturing is not.

You see, society places a constant pressure that forever pushes you to fit in. Your parents and siblings push you to be the person they wanted to be, never realizing that person is the person they never were.

Nobody ever tells you that their idea of who you shoud be is simply the person they were never able to become. Each is a delusion that you think you have to accept as you struggle to find yourself and fit in. The shoes they want you to fill come from a long line of failed lives.

Just as you are trying to fill the expectations of your family and friends, each of them is trying to fill the expectations of those around them. Everyone turns to “winning” as a way to do this never realizing they are just perpetuating an endless cycle of trustration and dstriving to measure up.

If you follow this cycle as you grow and mature you will forget about who you are as you try to satisfy the people around you. In the end you will lose yourself to the crowd of empty admirers trying to fit in to their own cycle of frustration. Their failed dreams become your reality. Their lost lives become your actuality and that empty need to win will trap you within yourself.

It is why so many stars of the entertainment and sports world have very empty and lonely lives in the end. The positive thing is that it doesn’t have to be this way.

You know the saying about loving yourself before you can love anyone else? The same is true for knowing yourself before you know anything else. If you don’t know yourself then everything you think you know may not be as real as you think it is. More than likely it is just a series of delusions that you created to protect yourself as you grew up in the world as it really is.

Knowing yourself is not as easy as you may hope but it is essential to your well-being. 

As you mature you change. The way you speak changes, your mannerisms change, your tastes change, your needs and desires change. Just look at yourself, you wear different clothes than you used to, you think different thoughts, you want different things, and all of this is good. I pray it never stops as long as it leads you to find your authentic self. It is far too easy to follow someone else’s ideas of who you should be without question. The problem with doing that is that sooner or later you wake up and discover that you are not who you want to be. You are who they want you to be and that you have strayed from your path without knowing why.

Finding yourself is a lifelong process. Every time you learn something about yourself it changes who you are. But at some point in time you lost your true self to those changes. Was it a slow slide down a slippery slope as you adopted someone else’ identity? Or was it a sudden shift like when you started your first job and realized your clothes and your mannerisms were no longer right for where you wanted to go?

The answer is different for everyone. It is not easy to figure out. It takes a life time to find the answer if you ever do. But what did you expect? It took a lifetime to get to where you are, and yes, it will probably take the rest of your lifetime to get to where you want to go.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to give away everything you worked so hard for or run off to a monastery to live the life of a monk. You can still go about your work and your family life just like always. It will be a gradual shift as you slowly learn to recognize the delusions you thought were real as you begin to live in the real world right here and right now.

Ask yourself some very straightforward questions.

Just take out a slip of paper and respond to these questions as honestly as you can. Make a note of which ones make you slightly or even fully uncomfortable.

  1. What does your ideal day look like?
  2. What did you want to be when you were younger?
  3. Who are you most inspired by? Why?
  4. Who would you love to meet? What would you ask?
  5. What habit would you most like to break? What habit would you most like to start?
  6. Think of a person you truly admire. What qualities do you like about that person?
  7. How do you like to relax?
  8. When was the last time you did something you were afraid of?
  9. What are you most proud of?
  10. What are you most afraid of?
  11. If life stopped today, what would you regret not doing?
  12. Who would you like to connect (or reconnect) with? Why?
  13. What qualities do you admire in others?
  14. What practical skills do you wish you had?
  15. Imagine you’re in your 90s. What memories would you like to have? What stories do you want to tell?
  16. What is your favorite book/movie/song? Why?
  17. If you could make one change in the world, what would it be?
  18. What do you love to do for, or give to others (not an object – something from you personally)?
  19. What excites you?
  20. What do you wish you did more of?
  21. Pretend money is no object. What would you do?
  22. What area of your life, right now, makes you feel the best? Which area makes you feel the worst? Why?
  23. Let’s jump forward a year. What would you like to have achieved in the past year?
  24. What piece of advice would you give to five year old you? Sixteen year old you? Twenty-one year old you? Right now?
  25. How do you want to be remembered in life?

Want to learn more? Reach out and let us guide you through the process of a Strategy for Happiness

 

Are you on the boat or staying at the dock?

The duality of being human is that we are caught between our divine spirit a and our very physical self. Our physical self is driven by fear and the desire to stay alive at all costs. Our divine spirit reflects our desire to reach for the stars as we seek more from the human experience we exist in. We are caught between the two with our physical brain and metaphysical mind paying the price. It is so often why we feel such stress and anxiety in our lives.

Today we are at a cross roads. Some of us are ready to reach upward, to seek more from our existence while others are too scared to reach beyond their own self interests. They are more comfortable retreating back into the swamp that we have spent the past hundreds of thousands of years clawing our way out of because for them it is safe, to them it is familiar and our brain loves “familiar”.

We all know it is not safe. It never was. We have slowly evolved beyond the days where brawn beat intellect. We have evolved beyond flatworms and alligators, beyond our collective awakening that occurred 40,000 years ago.

The moment we picked up a stick to defend ourselves against the wild, the moment we discovered fire and eventually the wheel, or when we begin to paint on cave walls was the moment we locked ourselves onto a path of evolution beyond our physical selves.

Today, you rely more on your cognitive skills than on your muscles. Tomorrow you will rely more on mind and less on your brain. If you stay with your feet planted firmly on the ground you will be forever tied to the earth and to your physical self. If you reach beyond your physical self and into the metaphysical realm you have a chance toward divinity.

Humans created the computer to lift the data processing from our shoulders so that we could ponder the larger thoughts and ideas swirling around our heads. We created the internet to connect us in a larger community so that we could network our thinking and speed up our own evolution. What we did not know we were doing was mirroring the way our consciousness is linked, connecting our points of consciousness with threads of energy so that we could become one and mirror the way existence works.

The collective of computers we created has a purpose. It does more than empower our minds to grow, it empowers our collective humanity to expand further than anyone of us could grow alone.

It has doomed those who would rather stay in the swamp to a life of irrelevance, and that is where we are today. The people who retreat into the physical have also backed themselves into a corner irrelevance. For the first time, they see where the world is heading, and that is a world that no longer needs their muscle, except to protect our collective selves from others who have nothing but muscle. It is why they are fighting so hard to remain relevant, to be a part of the modern world they  know is coming.

It is sad, but that ship has already sailed. They are standing on the dock, watching as the future forms without them. They are left to watch as it becomes a dot on the horizon. I can only imagine how it must have been like when the last Cro Magnon realized that homo Sapiens, modern humans, surpassed them. Yes, we still carry a few of their genes with us, but that is all.

Where are you?

Are you on the ship? Watching the past fade into the horizon, or are you on the dock, watching the future slip away, feeling safe and secure, but also sad knowing that you refused it?

Are you forever locking yourself into the present, rather than the future?

It is something to think about, contemplate and act upon.

New Meditation for 9/11

I know this will not be a very popular post, but acting properly is rarely the same as being popular – especially on something as delicate as 9/11.

This year let’s begin a new tradition of forgiveness to memorialize the tragedy of 9/11. I am not condoning what was done, nor am I saying we reduce our security one bit. But when you think about it, the path of anger and revenge has not gotten us or the world anywhere.

It has enabled a totalitarian President to gain power, it has sown an aura of protectionism, and has created an environment were we are talking about building walls rather than tearing them down. Do you remember how we all felt when Ronald Reagan asked Gorbachev to tear down his wall? Do you remember how great it was to see the people of Germany reunite through the peaceful power of sledgehammers? That is what we need now more than ever.

Is a mentality of revenge really what you want to teach your children? Is the idea of an eye for an eye really what we want the world to be blinded by?

I am not saying that we just let it go. What I am saying is that we maintain a high level of alert so that our safety remains paramount so that our republic remains intact, but let’s also extend empathy to those who would harm us. Somewhere inside their hearts is a very empty space that is crying out to be heard.

We have tried to shock and awe them into nothing; that didn’t work. We have tried to annihilate them with drone strikes to little or no effect. Isn’t it time we stepped onto a different path? As Einstein once said, and I paraphrase, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result.”

Yes, I remember what happened. I saw the first plane flying low over the city. I watched the empty busses driving back because there were no survivors, I stood in line to give blood only to be turned away because none was needed and I watched as the anger and screams for revenge echoed through the city and spread to those beyond our bridges and tunnels.

I lost a friend that day, I have also seen what following the path we took as a nation has done to us as a people and as a country. Hate has not worked. It is time to forgive. Forgive those who attacked us and forgiving ourselves for our response.

Now is the time to open our arms to those who would do us harm with a gesture of warmth and empathy. It is time for us to change the course of the world and try a new path with a new response – that of Love and compassion for a change.

Q + A: Is A Living Guru Required?

Q:

Is a Living Guru Required?

A:

Required for what? Before you can find the right answer you need to ask the right question. 😉

If you are asking about finding a shorter or more direct path to your destination, be they spiritual or material, the answer is yes in some ways. But the idea of a “guru” to lead you can distract you to follow false paths if you are not careful. You are the only one who can know what path to follow. Never rely on someone else, even me, to know where you want or need to go.

Always remember a guru can never know your mind. They can only share their experiences with you, but they can never know your thoughts.

It is up to you to select which part of their teachings applies to your situation. It is up to you, and only you, to know when you have learned the lessons you need to learn and when to move on so that you can continue your journey.

I have had many teachers and some gurus in my life. I have learned lessons, but rarely those they wanted to teach me. I have learned from watching the waves as they crashed on a beach, from observing the twists and turns of a mountain stream, and even by watching the stillness of a well worn stone. With each the most important lesson I have ever learned is knowing when to move on.

If you open yourself up to the stirrings of nature you will learn that you are your own best teacher. Just remember to allow yourself to acknowledge the wisdom all things in nature have to share and approach each with an empty cup.

Allow whomever or whatever to fill it free from preconceived notions and ideas.

I hope this helps.

Be well,

Jeff

Box Breathing

When you feel as if you just hit the wall and you can see your energy slipping away, when every page becomes a twenty-minute struggle to focus your thoughts, this is exactly when you need to breathe into your box. There’s no magic to it, you don’t have to sit in lotus or hold your hands in neat little circles. All you have to do is sit exactly where you are and breathe.

In minutes you will feel yourself settle into your breath. Your stress and anxiety will go somewhere that isn’t you and your focus will return so that you can return to being the person you were. You know before the circus of the world overcame your best efforts.

It’s so easy and simple, you can do it over and over again no matter what the world throws at you. Yes, it comes from the Navy SEALs, but that’s an entirely different story. All you have to know is that it works and it is there for you whenever you need it.

All you have to do to activate your box breath is to breathe in for a count of five, allow your breath to settle for a count of five, then breathe out for a count of five, and again allow your breath to settle for a count of five, before beginning again.

In for five, settle for five, out for five, settle for five, repeat, repeat, repeat.

If five is too long, make yours a count of four. If it is not long enough, make your count six. The important thing is not the count, but the consistency of your breath. As with every other exercise I teach, find your own flow and make this one yours. Own it, re-frame it, fit it into your style and your life as you need to. Do not try to fit your needs into my or anyone else’s – but yours.

Blood pressure should be normal if you are taking generic Sildenafil Citrate.

That is it. As the shampoo bottle says, wash, rinse, repeat.

Now breathe into your own box and enjoy your day, your week and your life.

Be the person you were meant to be.

Be well and I hope this helps.

 

j.

 

Meditating Cairn

Cairns have been around since humans first walked the earth.  They range from simple piles of stones to elaborate monoliths. They were first created as a way to tell those that followed that the path you are on is safe, that others have walked this way before, to carry on and continue your journey.

The Simple Truth Project chose the meditative cairn as our logo for the same reason. We are not a traditional Buddhist school. We are a collective of people who are on a similar journey. We are bound in kinship as a Sangha that is bound by our paths, to support, to share and to discover which thread that binds us is the right one to follow.

The meditative cairn we created is our way to give you comfort,  just as they do across the world, from mountains and highlands, to deserted beaches and inland waterways.

Join us at the Simple Truth Project so that we may walk beside you and guide you.

The more you become aware of the cairns that are all around you, the more you will see them throughout your day.  You will see that some were made by your ancestors and predate your birth, others were made during your lifetime to mark the path before you.

Some edifices are in the shape of buildings or people.  Ours is in the shape of a Buddha sitting in meditation.  Ours shows both the way, and the method.  We hope this will remind you that you are not alone on your journey,  that someone else has asked the same questions and has sought the same answers.

Our cairn is why we give students symbolic stones when they complete a step in their personal journey.  So that in time you can build your own cairn and show others that the journey they are on is a good one and to stay on their path wherever it may lead.

Where is your practice headed?

Children are the message you send

Children are the message you send to the future. What will your’s say?

Will they talk of a world with no borders, either physical or emotional. A world where our hearts communicate openly, back and forth free from all those thoughts that are a constant series of road blocks that prevent you from speaking openly and with Love. Or will they speak of hate and envy, where race and gender rule our senses? Will they speak of a population that responds to each threat in kindness and with a level of intimacy and trust, or a people still living in our own past?

The day your children speak will be a day of connection across space and time. What will you want yours to say?

You see, the effort each of us makes today to create equality is not for us. It will not happen in our generation or in our children’s generation, or even in the generation of our children’s children.  But that is not what we are building for. Or is it?

Are we being greedy to hope we will see the benefits in our own lifetime, or are we building for the generation of our children’s, children’s, children. We are building for the long term, for the forever, and must continue to do so if we are ever to see the change we want to see happen.

Perhaps it is a dream, but it is a dream worth pursuing for every generation of the future. That is the only way our children will live in a better world. If we can start today, right now, with the thought of doing things, not for ourselves, but for a generation we will never know, imagine how selfless our actions will become. Imagine how our smile will be genuine. Not an act we take to benefit ourselves and our own karma, but an authentic action for the people and the spirits we will never know. How selfless will that be?

The idea of a Bodhisattva is a beautiful idea, but it was one for thousands of years ago. Today we need something bigger, with a larger ideal than to save the sentient peoples in the world of today, and in all the worlds of tomorrow. We need something that will account for people and for all time.

I hope this helps to guide you in your actions.

Be well,

 

Jeff

5 Comments To Never Say

No Judgment

At one point in time this was authentic. It had meaning and credence. But now I hear it so many times every day, it rings of insincerity. It’s on television commercials, online ads pushing laundry detergent. What it really means is “boy, did I just judge you, and it was not good. In fact, it was so awful it made me feel guilty just thinking of it, so I need to say something to lower my own guilt over having thought it.” Let’s be honest, we all judge others. That is human nature. There is no getting away from it. The key is not to not judge, but to use our judgements as an invitation to ask yourself, “what is it about them that made me so judgmental? Why was I so quick to judge?” The answer actually has nothing to do with them, but with yourself. Don’t apologize to them, apologize to yourself, for within you is the key to your judgments, not with them.

learn to be happy

No Shame

As with the No Judgment rationale, when you shame someone, you are really just expressing the shame you carry within you. Some past memory, guilt, or apology you never said. As with the “no judgment” comment, we all shame others for self-gain, we do it to pull them into line. As one highly regarded Zen master once told me, “shame is the fastest way to teach.”

That does not make it right by any stretch of the imagination. By telling someone “no shame” you are giving the a Get Out Of Jail Free card. Your comment is just piling on more shame to whatever it was you just witnessed. Why, because they did not do it your way?

The shame is not theirs to carry, it is yours. Simply stop judging and stop shaming. It is not your place to call others out on some trumped-up idea of how they should act, and idea that you created out of the shame you carry around. Let the live their life in their way, and you can live your life in yours.

Learn to be authentic 

With All Due Respect

This is a classic setup. All it means is that you are about to pull the rug out from underneath them and slam them with some very disrespectful words. Why say it? Once again, you’re just giving yourself permission to be nasty. Don’t say “with all due respect,” just say what you’re going to say and then enjoy the regret you’re going to have to carry around with you for saying it.

If you are a true friend, then there is no need to give yourself an out. If not, then you shouldn’t make the comment. It’s not going to soften the blow of whatever you feel you have to say to them, because it really is for you. Instead of saying with all due respect just hold your tongue. The world will be a better place for it.

Learn to be you

I was Just Thinking

Does that mean you usually don’t think? This comment does not make you look or sound smart. It usually prefaces what you think is a brilliant idea, but you’re just not convinced it is. You’re trying to hedge your bets in case your brilliant idea falls flat. Perhaps you think adding a casual tone to whatever comes next will give you and out, or perhaps the idea of downplaying your brilliance will make your idea all the more palpable.

Next time just say what your idea is and let your audience judge its merits on their own?

Learn to be mindful

I’m Being Honest With You

This is on par with I was just thinking. It implies that you have not been honest with your audience up until now. As with most of these comments, it does just the opposite of what was intended, it raises their attention level to assess what you have just said, and are about to say, with a new level of wariness.

If you have something to say, then just say it. Good thoughts and comments need no introduction. They will find their way to the intended listener’s ears all on their own.

If you are ever in doubt, good conversation, like good meditation or a well-made martini, comes from the school of less is more. You don’t have to embellish. All that ever does is put a garish tone to what could have been a wonderful diversion.

Learn to meditate.

 

Be well and I hope this helps.